I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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