what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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