Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I need moral support for this bender
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
