Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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