And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
