If i come over, it means nothing
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
