you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
