i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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