As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
