11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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