I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize