Three words: puerto rican gang bang
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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