I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
