he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
