She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
