dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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