oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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