Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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