do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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