I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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