Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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