They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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