called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
