Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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