dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize