I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
