Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
