fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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