My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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