Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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