I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
