I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
