So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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