You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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