I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
