Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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