whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
