I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We named our party play list daddy issues
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
