I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
