"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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