He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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