I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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