I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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