wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
