my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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