escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
