You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize