is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
