we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Randomize
