remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
