If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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