its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize