office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I smell like Dick and happiness
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
