were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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