All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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