It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
