I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
