Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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