Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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