do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
